The Silent Scream [3rd Chapter]

Once again the alarm clock rang, yes, it was another day and she would have to live through it all.
She got up, did what she does every morning, but this time doing her best to hide the scars from her brake down the night before, and once again went to school where she was received the same way as the day before and every other day before that, for some reason people seemed to have fun treating her like that.
While they were having fun pushing her around, someone saw the cuts (great, one more thing for them to make fun of) and said it out loud, throughout the day the news started to spread and by lunch time everyone already knew that the “freaky girl” cutted herself. It was being a terrible day already and it was far from being over, she didn’t seemed to find her boyfriend anywhere so she went to sit with her “friends” for lunch, but as soon as she sat down they all got up and walked away without saying a single word, yes she was weird, but now that everyone knew she cutted herself, who wanted to be friends with a freak?? Who would even pretend to be friends with her??She couldn’t understand what was happening, a million things were going through her mind at that moment and she couldn’t stop wondering why were they acting like that, why weren’t they talking to her anymore?
She went to find Heather; she knew she would talk to her no matter what, when she found her they just stood together talking about what was happening, finally she could understand what lead them to stop talking to her, what she couldn’t understand was why they did it just because of that.
Rachel fought through one more day at school, and by 6:30pm she was going home, she couldn’t wait to get there, she really needed to release some tension, it hurted but it was so addictive, now that she had started, she couldn’t stop, it wasn’t the solution to all her problems but it helped a lot because the physical pain made her forget all she was feeling inside.
That night she didn’t even wanted to dinner, she didn’t felt like seeing anyone, and even less her mother, she just stood in her room listening to her music and wondering if she should give in to her pain and cut or just be strong and push it all inside and move on…She decided to stop thinking so much and give in to her pain, she tried being strong for many years before and it never helped, it never made anything better and besides she had already done it once, it worked and as everyone at school knew already, it wasn’t such a big secret anymore… Everyone knew what was happening, only her mother couldn’t realize it, or maybe she didn’t wanted to see what was right in front of her, maybe she just didn’t wanted to admit that something was terribly wrong with her daughter. Once again she just stood there staring at the blood pouring from the three fresh cuts that she had just done. She couldn’t feel anything from her wrist down, and after a few minutes her whole body was starting to feel numb, it was such a good feeling.

It was 2:35am already and she had to go to bed, and the way she was feeling, probably wasn’t a good idea to stay up for much longer, so she just grabbed her diary and wrote another entry which said:

Why can’t you hear me?
Why can’t you see me?
Why can’t you listen to me?
Why won’t you talk to me?
Why don’t you care about me?
Why don’t you even look my way?
For all the pain and rejection you sent my way,
All I can say is…
…nothing…
I’ve become dead, too numb to speak,
Whenever I think of you I start to cry,
Cry my eyes out,
Why did you do that to me?
I never hurt them,
Never even thought of it,
So why?All I ask is why?

And after that she just went to bed and fell asleep almost as soon as her head touched the pillow, she needed to rest and to tell the truth she really should do so, because if she thought that day sucked, that’s because she didn’t knew what expected her the next day.