The Silent Scream [11th Chapter]

It was around 4pm when Rachel woke up and she felt great even though she had already discussed with her mother that day, she was so happy that nothing could ruin it for her.
She went downstairs to eat something and found her mother on the kitchen unpacking the groceries:
“Now can you tell me where have you been?” her mother asked not even looking at her.
“I was with Jake…” she said making a sandwich.
“I know you were with him, I asked you where?” she said, this time looking at Rachel.
“His house…” she was trying to keep her answers as simple as possible and leave to her room as fast as she could, but her mother wasn’t making it any easy.
“His house? Are you out of your mind? What were you doing there?” she said shocked.
“Mom, I’m 18 and what I was doing there is none of your business.” She said grabbing a coke from the fridge.
“None of my business? I’m your mother for god’s sake, I was worried, I have to know what you’re doing, even though I’m scared to find out!”
“Then don’t… I hate when you pretend you care!” she said living the kitchen and walking to her room.
The weekend went by and she couldn’t wait for Monday. Finally Monday came and as always she got ready, ate something and waited for Jake, it was around 8:15 when he got there, she grabbed her stuff and opened the door.
“Hey!” she said with a big smile, and she was surprise when he kissed her, but she didn’t complain.
“Hey, ready for school?” he asked.
“I have to!”
They talked all they way to school, and when they arrived there he said:
“Rachel, we have to talk!” she got nervous when he said that.
“Ok.” and they went to sit.
“What’s it about?” she asked him.
“What’s going on between us… Does that mean something to you?” he asked looking in her eyes, but she looked away.
Oh no, not that question, she didn’t wanted to answer to it, she just wished they could go back in time and he had never asked that question, but he did, and now she had to answer.
“Well, what’s going on between us is great, but it can’t be more than that.” she said looking down.
“Why not? I though there was something here.” he said not wanting to believe on what she had just said.
“The drugs Jake, that’s a part of you that I can’t deal with! I’m sorry!” she said and the bell rang.
“I’m going to class.” she said getting up and walking away.
During the whole class she just kept thinking how hard it had been saying no to him, when all she wanted to do was say yes, she wanted to be with him more than anything in this world, but she really couldn’t deal with that problem of his, not in a more than friends way. Suddenly she received a note, it was from Jake, she was afraid to read it, but she did it anyway, and it said:

Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
This is what my thoughts are,
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
I do not have a star,
To put in all my hopes,
To put in all my dreams,
Where will I be without my star.
Before you came,
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
These were my thoughts,
But now they’re lost.
I do not have these thoughts anymore.
Live....Love....Laugh,
That is what’s running through my mind.
Live....Love....Laugh,I must be insane,
I don’t need cocaine.
Live....Love....Laugh,
These thoughts are brought to mind.
Live....Love....Laugh,
It must be some kind of sign.
To be here with you,
And the love that you give.
I’ll quit the drugs,
It will bring on the pain.
But it is bearable,
As long as I have you to gain.
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
No, don’t need these thoughts no more.
Live....Love....Laugh,
Now I have something to live for.

(Please say yes!)

She couldn’t believe what she had just read, he really was serious about it, she looked at him and he was looking at her, he really looked decided to quit it all just to have her with him, and that was the best feeling of them all, so she wrote a note and sent it to him, and when he unfolded the paper to read what it said, he saw a big YES written there.
The rest of the day was perfect, they spend the whole time together when they weren’t in classes, talking, kissing and holding hands.
Finally the day was over and they went home, he passed through her house first to drop her there, kissed her goodbye and then went home.
She went inside, her eye glowing and the biggest smile on her lips, she was happy, everything in school was going great, she had a boyfriend and each time someone at school messed around with her Jake was there to tell them to fuck off. How was it possible that everything was so perfect? It was times like these that made her miss Heather the most, she wished she was alive, she wanted to tell her everything, she wanted to tell her how happy she felt, how in love she was, how great her life had became since she moved.
She putted her My Chemical Romance CD playing and turned on the computer to check her e-mail and her myspace, the time went by really fast and when she looked at the time it was already 9pm and her mother was calling her for dinner, during dinned they didn’t talked to each other, what she said to her on the weekend really must have gotten to her, because she didn’t talked to Rachel since then, but she didn’t care, while she wasn’t talking, they weren’t discussing and eventually it would pass anyway.
She finished dinner and went to her room, dressed her pyjama, got on her bed and wrote on her diary:

Love is unpredictable,

Love is uncontainable,

Love is reliable,

Love is infallible,

Love is right,

Love is wrong,

Love is weak,

Love is strong,

Love is good,

Love is pure,

Love is real,

Love is sure,

Love is jealous,

Love is pain,

Love is lost,

Love is gained,

Love is naked,

Love is raw,

Love is everything,

Love is all,

Love is here,

Love is there,

Love is beautiful,

Love is fair,

Love is great,

Love is shit,

Love is demanding,

Love is it.
Finally now I’m sure,

Love is what I feel for you…

It had been one of the best days of her life, she finally got someone new in her life and he was way better than Mike ever was, he understood her, he protected her, he made her feel happy about who she was and no matter what he was always there for her, it all made her realize that maybe she didn’t loved Mike as much as she thought she did, but she sure loved Jake, he was the one for her… She laid down and fell asleep thinking about all that. How she wished the next day came fast so that she could see her boyfriend again. “Boyfriend”, she had never liked that word as much as she did now.

The Silent Scream [10th Chapter]

Dedicated to GummyBear

A few months went by and things were going great, she still didn’t had many friends, but she didn’t care, as long as Jake was there everything was great… Often she wondered if she was using Jake as a way to compensate for the loss of Heather, but after a while she got to the conclusion that she wasn’t, she was just trying to move on with her life, and that included making new friends.
Every morning Jake passed through her house so that they could go together to school, it was awesome to have someone to talk to on her way there and she never thought she would ever get along that well with a guy.
It was Friday and she got up early in the morning to get dressed, do her hair and makeup and eat something so that she was ready to go when Jake got there. At 8:15am, as always, there was a knock on the door, it was Jake:
“Good morning, ready to go?” he said with a big smile on his face.
“As ready as possible, I guess…” she said wondering why he was smiling so much… He looked nervous.
On their way to school they were talking and Rachel couldn’t stop wondering why he was nervous, was there anything wrong? After a few silent moments Jake finally said:
“You should get out more!”
“What?” she asked not knowing why he said that.
“You’re always home, you should go out, have fun..”
“Well, I don’t really have many friends besides you here, that’s why I stay home, going out by myself isn’t that fun!” she said looking up at the sky, it was a beautiful sunny day.
“Then lets go out tonight!” he said really fast.
“What?”
“Yeah, you and me, let’s go out tonight, I promise you’ll have a lot of fun… So, are you in?” he asked her with that irresistible inviting smile.
“Ok, sure… It will be fun!” she said smiling back at him and this time he didn’t look so nervous anymore.
After a while they arrived to school and went to classes, it was boring as hell, but she kept a big smile on her face the whole day, after all, even if she didn’t said anything, she was more than happy to go out with Jake and finally have some fun, she only hoped her mother would allow her to go out, that was the hard part.
After a long day of classes they went home, always talking and laughing on their way there, when they got to Rachel’s house they said goodbye:
“So, see you later!” she told him, still smiling.
“Yeah, see you later!” he just answered, and when she was about to get in he said “Pick you up at 11?”
“Yeah, perfect… And remember, you promised I would have a lot of fun so you better plan something great!” she said with a joking tone on her voice.
“Of course, after all, I promised didn’t I?” and with that said she went in and he went home.
When she got inside she found her mother on the living room, she was watching TV and when she realized Rachel was already inside she said:
“So what were you talking with that guy out there?” she asked in a serious tone.
“We were just talking… By the way, I’m going out tonight”
“With that guy?”
“Ahh, yeah, why?” she asked kind of confused with her mother’s question.
“Because it’s a guy, behave and don’t come home late!”
“Mom, I’m not a kid anymore, I’m 18, I should be allowed to go out with guys, and don’t worry, I won’t arrive late!”
“Ok, ok… I was just saying!”
“Funny how you always have something to say, too bad it’s not the best thing though...” Rachel said and went to her room, she still didn’t know what to dress, what accessories to wear and she still had to take a bath.
She opened her closet and stared at her clothes for almost half an hour, it had been a while since she went out and she didn’t knew what she should dress. After a while looking at the closet like crazy she decided to take her red skinny jeans and a black shirt with her black converse.
After picking up what she would dress she turned on her computer to check out her Myspace and chat a bit with some friends on AIM, it was 8:30pm when she turned off the computer and went to take a bath, around 10pm she was heading downstairs to have dinner and after that she just had to put her makeup on and she was ready.
It was 11:05pm and she was nervous, when she suddenly heard a knock at the door, she ran to open it and it was Jake, she went to get her purse and went out. He looked hot as always, black skinny jeans, black shirt and black converse, he looked cute in black.
They went to a bar where a local hardcore garage band was giving a concert, it was awesome, she had already heard a few songs of that band when she was still living in London and she liked them. They drunk, they jumped, they sung and they laughed at how bad they were at it, she really was having fun.
It was 2:30am when they left that bar.
“So, where are we going now?” she asked still hype from the show.
“I don’t know, my house maybe, unless you want to go home now.”
“Your house it is, I don’t feel like seeing my mom just yet!” she said and they both laughed.
A few minutes later they arrived at Jake’s house and no one was there:
“You have the whole house to yourself?” she asked looking around.
“Yeah, something like that… My dad works night shifts.” He said walking towards his room.
Once in his room he putted music and Rachel sat on his bed looking around, his room was huge and really cool, he sat beside her and they talked for a while before Jake went silent, looked deep into her eyes and suddenly kissed her. That one kiss sent shivers through her whole body and made her legs go weak, by then she was happy she was sitting down or else she would have melted to the floor.
After a few seconds he broke the kiss and said:
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done this!” he looked embarrassed.
“It’s ok, I’m not complaining am I?” she said and he kissed her again.
One kiss led to another and so on, which led to a full make out session and when she noticed, they were already on the bed without clothes. She wasn’t nervous, on the contrary, she was exploding with happiness. He really knew how to make a girl feel special, and that’s why she loved being around him.

It was 10am when Rachel arrived home, she opened the door carefully so that her mother wouldn’t hear her, but it was too late, her mother was already awake, and she was right on the living room waiting for her:
“I told you not to come home late, where the hell have you been?” her mother said in a really mad tone.
“I was having fun for once and I didn’t noticed the time go by, it’s not a big deal, its weekend for god’s sake!” she said while she walked towards the stairs to go to her room, she was really tired and all she wanted to do was sleep.
“Don’t turn your back at me while I’m talking, I haven’t finished talking to you yet!” she said yelling.
“For me you already did so there’s no use to keep on going, so if you really want to say something else, just write it downs and say it later, I just want to sleep now!” she said and went upstairs to her room.
She threw herself onto her bed with the biggest smile ever on her lips, she couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened, that had been the best night of her life, and she couldn’t go to bed without writing about it on her diary:

Push me up against the wall,
Push me harder, faster, fiercer,
Try and make sure I don't fall.
Pin me with your body so I don't get away,
Pin me harder, faster, fiercer,
No matter what it takes, make me stay.
Kiss me like you mean it,
Kiss me harder, faster, fiercer,
So I can believe for a moment you mean it.
Pick me up and drag me into your sheets,
Pick me up and take me harder, faster, fiercer,
Make this night one of your greatest feats.
Caress my every curve like I'm that breakable,
Caress me harder, faster, fiercer,
Not so breakable now, but oh, so takable.
Now more than ever I want you,
Now I want you harder, faster, fiercer,
Show me you want me too.

After writing it, she putted her diary back on her nightstand drawer and went to bed, she drifted away to sleep thinking of her amazing night and didn’t woke up until 4pm.