It was around 4pm when Rachel woke up and she felt great even though she had already discussed with her mother that day, she was so happy that nothing could ruin it for her.
She went downstairs to eat something and found her mother on the kitchen unpacking the groceries:
“Now can you tell me where have you been?” her mother asked not even looking at her.
“I was with Jake…” she said making a sandwich.
“I know you were with him, I asked you where?” she said, this time looking at Rachel.
“His house…” she was trying to keep her answers as simple as possible and leave to her room as fast as she could, but her mother wasn’t making it any easy.
“His house? Are you out of your mind? What were you doing there?” she said shocked.
“Mom, I’m 18 and what I was doing there is none of your business.” She said grabbing a coke from the fridge.
“None of my business? I’m your mother for god’s sake, I was worried, I have to know what you’re doing, even though I’m scared to find out!”
“Then don’t… I hate when you pretend you care!” she said living the kitchen and walking to her room.
The weekend went by and she couldn’t wait for Monday. Finally Monday came and as always she got ready, ate something and waited for Jake, it was around 8:15 when he got there, she grabbed her stuff and opened the door.
“Hey!” she said with a big smile, and she was surprise when he kissed her, but she didn’t complain.
“Hey, ready for school?” he asked.
“I have to!”
They talked all they way to school, and when they arrived there he said:
“Rachel, we have to talk!” she got nervous when he said that.
“Ok.” and they went to sit.
“What’s it about?” she asked him.
“What’s going on between us… Does that mean something to you?” he asked looking in her eyes, but she looked away.
Oh no, not that question, she didn’t wanted to answer to it, she just wished they could go back in time and he had never asked that question, but he did, and now she had to answer.
“Well, what’s going on between us is great, but it can’t be more than that.” she said looking down.
“Why not? I though there was something here.” he said not wanting to believe on what she had just said.
“The drugs Jake, that’s a part of you that I can’t deal with! I’m sorry!” she said and the bell rang.
“I’m going to class.” she said getting up and walking away.
During the whole class she just kept thinking how hard it had been saying no to him, when all she wanted to do was say yes, she wanted to be with him more than anything in this world, but she really couldn’t deal with that problem of his, not in a more than friends way. Suddenly she received a note, it was from Jake, she was afraid to read it, but she did it anyway, and it said:
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
This is what my thoughts are,
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
I do not have a star,
To put in all my hopes,
To put in all my dreams,
Where will I be without my star.
Before you came,
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
These were my thoughts,
But now they’re lost.
I do not have these thoughts anymore.
Live....Love....Laugh,
That is what’s running through my mind.
Live....Love....Laugh,I must be insane,
I don’t need cocaine.
Live....Love....Laugh,
These thoughts are brought to mind.
Live....Love....Laugh,
It must be some kind of sign.
To be here with you,
And the love that you give.
I’ll quit the drugs,
It will bring on the pain.
But it is bearable,
As long as I have you to gain.
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
No, don’t need these thoughts no more.
Live....Love....Laugh,
Now I have something to live for.
She went downstairs to eat something and found her mother on the kitchen unpacking the groceries:
“Now can you tell me where have you been?” her mother asked not even looking at her.
“I was with Jake…” she said making a sandwich.
“I know you were with him, I asked you where?” she said, this time looking at Rachel.
“His house…” she was trying to keep her answers as simple as possible and leave to her room as fast as she could, but her mother wasn’t making it any easy.
“His house? Are you out of your mind? What were you doing there?” she said shocked.
“Mom, I’m 18 and what I was doing there is none of your business.” She said grabbing a coke from the fridge.
“None of my business? I’m your mother for god’s sake, I was worried, I have to know what you’re doing, even though I’m scared to find out!”
“Then don’t… I hate when you pretend you care!” she said living the kitchen and walking to her room.
The weekend went by and she couldn’t wait for Monday. Finally Monday came and as always she got ready, ate something and waited for Jake, it was around 8:15 when he got there, she grabbed her stuff and opened the door.
“Hey!” she said with a big smile, and she was surprise when he kissed her, but she didn’t complain.
“Hey, ready for school?” he asked.
“I have to!”
They talked all they way to school, and when they arrived there he said:
“Rachel, we have to talk!” she got nervous when he said that.
“Ok.” and they went to sit.
“What’s it about?” she asked him.
“What’s going on between us… Does that mean something to you?” he asked looking in her eyes, but she looked away.
Oh no, not that question, she didn’t wanted to answer to it, she just wished they could go back in time and he had never asked that question, but he did, and now she had to answer.
“Well, what’s going on between us is great, but it can’t be more than that.” she said looking down.
“Why not? I though there was something here.” he said not wanting to believe on what she had just said.
“The drugs Jake, that’s a part of you that I can’t deal with! I’m sorry!” she said and the bell rang.
“I’m going to class.” she said getting up and walking away.
During the whole class she just kept thinking how hard it had been saying no to him, when all she wanted to do was say yes, she wanted to be with him more than anything in this world, but she really couldn’t deal with that problem of his, not in a more than friends way. Suddenly she received a note, it was from Jake, she was afraid to read it, but she did it anyway, and it said:
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
This is what my thoughts are,
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
I do not have a star,
To put in all my hopes,
To put in all my dreams,
Where will I be without my star.
Before you came,
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
These were my thoughts,
But now they’re lost.
I do not have these thoughts anymore.
Live....Love....Laugh,
That is what’s running through my mind.
Live....Love....Laugh,I must be insane,
I don’t need cocaine.
Live....Love....Laugh,
These thoughts are brought to mind.
Live....Love....Laugh,
It must be some kind of sign.
To be here with you,
And the love that you give.
I’ll quit the drugs,
It will bring on the pain.
But it is bearable,
As long as I have you to gain.
Loneliness.... Loneliness.... Loneliness,
No, don’t need these thoughts no more.
Live....Love....Laugh,
Now I have something to live for.
(Please say yes!)
She couldn’t believe what she had just read, he really was serious about it, she looked at him and he was looking at her, he really looked decided to quit it all just to have her with him, and that was the best feeling of them all, so she wrote a note and sent it to him, and when he unfolded the paper to read what it said, he saw a big YES written there.
The rest of the day was perfect, they spend the whole time together when they weren’t in classes, talking, kissing and holding hands.
Finally the day was over and they went home, he passed through her house first to drop her there, kissed her goodbye and then went home.
She went inside, her eye glowing and the biggest smile on her lips, she was happy, everything in school was going great, she had a boyfriend and each time someone at school messed around with her Jake was there to tell them to fuck off. How was it possible that everything was so perfect? It was times like these that made her miss Heather the most, she wished she was alive, she wanted to tell her everything, she wanted to tell her how happy she felt, how in love she was, how great her life had became since she moved.
She putted her My Chemical Romance CD playing and turned on the computer to check her e-mail and her myspace, the time went by really fast and when she looked at the time it was already 9pm and her mother was calling her for dinner, during dinned they didn’t talked to each other, what she said to her on the weekend really must have gotten to her, because she didn’t talked to Rachel since then, but she didn’t care, while she wasn’t talking, they weren’t discussing and eventually it would pass anyway.
She finished dinner and went to her room, dressed her pyjama, got on her bed and wrote on her diary:
Love is unpredictable,
Love is uncontainable,
Love is reliable,
Love is infallible,
Love is right,
Love is wrong,
Love is weak,
Love is strong,
Love is good,
Love is pure,
Love is real,
Love is sure,
Love is jealous,
Love is pain,
Love is lost,
Love is gained,
Love is naked,
Love is raw,
Love is everything,
Love is all,
Love is here,
Love is there,
Love is beautiful,
Love is fair,
Love is great,
Love is shit,
Love is demanding,
Love is it.
Finally now I’m sure,
Finally now I’m sure,
Love is what I feel for you…
It had been one of the best days of her life, she finally got someone new in her life and he was way better than Mike ever was, he understood her, he protected her, he made her feel happy about who she was and no matter what he was always there for her, it all made her realize that maybe she didn’t loved Mike as much as she thought she did, but she sure loved Jake, he was the one for her… She laid down and fell asleep thinking about all that. How she wished the next day came fast so that she could see her boyfriend again. “Boyfriend”, she had never liked that word as much as she did now.
1 comentário:
I love it.
That love is good.
When the next come, i can wait to read it.
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