The Silent Scream [4th Chapter]

The next day everything was the same, she woke up, went to school and it was the same shit all over again, some people didn’t even looked at her, others just walked away as if she had some kind of disease, some laughed and called her ”freak”, while others pushed her around until she fell to the floor.
She really needed some comfort now so she decided to, once again, look for the only person who could give it to her, Heather. She walked around trying to find her, but instead of finding Heather she ended up finding her boyfriend making out with another girl, one of the girls that used to be her “friend”, she couldn’t believe her eyes, she loved him and he knew it, how could he do that to her? She knew he didn’t understand her and since they started dating he wasn’t always there for her when she needed, but cheat?
It was just too much and she ended up breaking up with him, her life was already too fucked up and the last thing she needed was a boyfriend cheating on her and making it all worse, she didn’t wanted to see him, hear him or even think about his existence at that time, she just wanted Mike to disappear.
Rachel did her best to get through the day without bursting down with tears each time she thought about what happened, and once again Heather was there to help her living through that day, watching her crying and listening to what she had to say, how come each day that passes is worse than the day before? Each time she thought things couldn’t get worse, they did, she wondered how much worse things could get, even though she was afraid to find out.
Her boyfriend passed the whole day trying to talk to her, but she didn’t wanted to hear it, not at that time, whatever the reasons that made him do that didn’t matter, he didn’t loved her as much as he said and that was for sure, did he even ever loved her?
She was relieved when school was finally over, it was Friday and the weekend was coming, for Rachel that meant more time away from that entire people, she really needed a break.
When she got home she found her mother in a good mood, it was cool to find her like that for a change, the last thing Rachel needed was another discussion with her mom, she said “hi” to her and went to her room, turned on the radio and putted her music playing as loud as she could, while she was laying on he bed crying and convincing herself that it was better that way, she deserved someone better, someone who could understand her and be always there.
When she finally managed to stop crying she actually saw it was better being alone than with someone who would never love her for who she is, like she loved him, so she decided to write another entry on her diary to help her moving on, and it said::

I sit here and wait for you on my bed,
But why, when I know you’re fucked in the head.
You say you care, but I know it’s fake,
Why don’t you just tear me up for goodness sake?
You said you loved me like you did,
But you know in your head you’re just a fucking kid.
You have taken advantage of me forever and ever,
I have figured out, we weren’t meant to be together.
The things you said to my face,
Mean nothing at the end of the race.
It’s over, falling into big piles of shit,
I tried, I really did, every fucking bit!
My feelings for you will now change,
Because I will never think of you the same.
It won’t be hard to find someone new,
Because I know I can do a whole lot better than you!

After writing that, she actually felt better about herself, writing always made her feel better. Then she decided to go downstairs and have dinned with her mom, and for the first time she noticed that something wasn’t right with her daughter. When she asked what was happening Rachel was surprised, was her mother really asking her that?? As she was in such a good mood, she thought that maybe she could give it a chance and actually have a conversation with her mother.
She told her about the thing with Mike, and she got really admired with her mother’s reaction, she hugged her and told her not to worry about it, she deserved someone better that treated her like she deserved… After a long conversation with her mother she went upstairs to her room, she was tired and sleepy, the day had been terrible and she couldn’t wait for it to be over, but on the other side, for the first time she had a real mother – daughter moment and it felt so good, she wished it could always be like that, it would make everything so much easier. She finally went to bed and fell asleep hoping the next day would be better.